JOLLYCAT
BUY

Field report

Pull the zipper down. The agent stops being an agent.

Jollycat, a cream plush costume mascot with its chest zipper pulled halfway down, revealing an unimpressed grey stray cat underneath

Grab the pull. Drag it up or down.

Garment care

Read This Before You Pull Anything

The hem label out front only has room for four lines. The rest of the care instructions did not fit, so they are filed here instead.

Hand wash only

Machine cycles agitate the zipper track faster than the cat ever does on his own.

No bleach

Bleaching the fur does not bleach the attitude that lives underneath it.

Line dry, away from the vent

Tumble heat warps the flap hinge. The cat already runs warm enough without help.

Low iron, zipper shut

Press with the zipper closed or you will iron a permanent scowl into the flap.

Store zipped, on a padded hanger

Storage sets the smell for the season. Plan accordingly.

Do not attempt to remove the lining

The manufacturer has never confirmed whether the costume comes off without the cat coming with it.

Filed by wardrobe, same shift

Zipper Malfunction, Incident Report

Every costume defect gets logged before it gets excused. This is the entry for the pull currently stuck under your cursor.

Incident No. JC-0447
Filed by Wardrobe department, backstage entrance
Location Loading dock, mascot storage rack 3
Description

Zipper pull was found stopped at the halfway mark during the noon costume check. On inspection, the costume was not empty above the stop point. It was not empty below the stop point either. One cat was recovered from the interior and was displeased to be recovered.

Witness statement

"I opened the rack for the routine count. The zipper had already moved before I touched it. The cat had not moved at all, on principle." Filed by the backstage handler on duty, name withheld.

Corrective action

None issued. The zipper track passed inspection at spec. The cat also appears to be at spec, which was not anticipated and is not covered under the costume warranty.

Status OPEN · reopened twice

Reference chart

The Full Mood Scale, Documented

The panel beside the costume only shows which stage is active right now. This is what each stage actually means for anyone handling the zipper directly.

Stage Zip position Signs Handler note
Content 0 to 25% Ears forward, tail loose, weight settled. Safe to approach. The costume is doing its job and the cat has not clocked it yet.
Suspicious 26 to 55% Ears back, weight shifted toward the seam. The cat has clocked it. Avoid direct eye contact through the gap.
Exposed 56 to 80% Whiskers forward, tail low, one paw already through. The costume has lost the argument at this point. Step back from the track.
Furious 81 to 100% Full visibility, ears flat, a low sound audible at close range. Paperwork will not help here. Let the moment pass on its own.

Customer service, open tickets

Complaints About The Costume

Every ticket below came from someone who ordered a plush agent and received a roommate.

JC-118 OPEN

Ordered one friendly plush agent for the front desk. Received one friendly plush agent plus one cat with strong opinions about the air conditioning.

Noted. Air conditioning policy is outside our department.

JC-119 CLOSED

Zipper opened mid meeting. The cat made better eye contact with the client than the agent had all morning.

Closed as not a defect. Two clients requested the cat's contact information.

JC-121 ESCALATED

Costume was returned half open and smelling faintly of fish. Exchange was refused at the counter.

Escalated to wardrobe. Smell confirmed at intake. Source undetermined.

JC-124 OPEN

Requested a refund. Received an extended warranty instead.

Warranty now covers zipper failure, cat behavior, and any combination of the two.